Ask Wynter: How Can I Become More Lady-like?

Hello Wynter:

What I'm learning as I approach years 29 and 30 of my life is that for many young women, including myself, we were taught by our mothers how to be women (strong, independent, etc.) but not how to be ladies. What are some tools that I can use to take with me, or books that I can read, or materials that I can study that will teach me at this age how to adopt more lady-like behaviors. And quite frankly, is it too late to learn and adapt to such traits?

Dear Carmen:

Thank you so much for submitting such an authentic question that many young women often begin to ask themselves at this threshold in their lives. With influences ranging from family/friends to the images that we see daily in pop culture, womanhood is constantly under a microscope and continually being redefined. There is, however, one standard of womanhood that has remained persistent throughout the test of time and that is the Proverbs 31 woman. Click here to read the verses about the Proverbs 31 woman in their entirety. I mention this chapter because it’s one of the greatest tools that not only points us to how we can be more “lady-like”, but it also teaches us what God expects of us as women. The Proverbs 31 woman indicates that women should value and demonstrate the following characteristics: being moral, trustworthy, having the ability to make sound decisions, willing to work hard to increase her quality of life, she’s kind/giving, and she makes sure to consider the way that she presents herself in both looks and demeanor.  There is a quiet confidence that this woman possess, which may be quite the opposite of what we’re sometimes taught and see on a daily basis.

Beyond the characteristics of the Proverbs 31 woman, I highly suggest identifying women in your family, workplace, or your church who possess the characteristics that you’re working to develop. Consider their actions and what influenced them to become the women who they are today. In speaking with these women and learning their stories, you may discover that you already possess the things that you’re seeking.

I hope this helps. Always remember Psalm 139:14 "You are fearfully and wonderfully made!"


God Bless You,
Wynter Patterson