Hello Wynter,
I've been praying to God about a situation with my daughter's father, my heart really loves him and cares for him and I really wanna be with him and want us to get married and do things the right way in the Will Of God and I've been going through with so much guilt, pain, guilt, sorrow for a year and 5 months now. So I finally prayed to God to release this from me I want to let him go cause he holding me down and everyday im in my feelings about him and if he dont call or text me I'm sad and feeling down and depressed....I don't pray constantly like I should but I pray every night and at sometimes throughout the day that is an area I am weak in cause my mind is so focus and looking for God to do this for me and that for me. But on the inside I still really wanna be with him and I really deeply Love him.
By the looks of the situation with me and him seems like its not going to happen and ive been crying and hurting and chasing after him trying to mend what was broken and fix whatever the problem was but he doesn't show me any attention or want to talk to me about that, only about his daughter. I wanna keep on believeing in this situation will change and turn around and what I prayed for will happen if I keep holding On and pressing on and then I don't know if I should just really let go of it all, give up, and move on and if that's what I need to do I don't know how and its hindering me day by day.
> WHAT SHOULD I DO PLEASE HELP ME???
Marie
Houston, TX
Marie,
I appreciate the fact that you had the courage to reach out. I know what it's like to want something so badly that it clouds your focus and your judgment. I have been there.
It is natural to want something to work and to want your child's father to be a part of both of your lives, especially if you have history and you have experienced some good times together. What you feel is quite normal. The problem comes when a person's actions begin to control your emotions. This is emotionally and spiritually dangerous. Remember the bible says "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God" (Phil. 4:6). You have to begin to take your requests to God regarding your desire for the relationship.
Secondly, you have to take your hands off! If it is God's desire to bring you two together, He doesn't need your help. That is a lesson I have had to learn over and over again. You need to pray for what you desire and leave it alone in most cases. Stop concentrating on how to win his affection, or what you need to do or say to facilitate your interactions. God wants to know that we trust Him for our future.
So here's what you can do. Start out by taking time, by yourself to pray and/or cry out to God. Let it all out. Tell God your desires and ask Him for the help to let go. Every time you start to get anxious, or feel sad about something your ex did or did not do...say out loud "Lord I trust you". When he sends you a text, good or bad...say out loud "Lord I trust you". This will help your mind get used to the idea of trusting your Heavenly Father. You will also need to increase your prayer life during this difficult time. Nothing will help you get through the "quiet times" like prayer. The quiet times are when you are waiting for God to reveal his plan for you life.
While you are working on increasing your prayer life, reading your bible and trusting God, make sure you also spend time with some of your good friends. Do some things that you like to do. And while your hanging out, make sure he is not the focal point of the conversation. That usually generates negative thoughts or it forces you to keep your mind on the problem and not on God. You may find yourself really enjoying the "me time". This doesn't mean that you won't still feel sad at times or wonder what He's doing, but it does mean that you won't be so preoccupied with him that you lose yourself in the process.
Learning to let go and let God is not an overnight process. It will require a daily effort on your part but it will be worth it. If your child's father does come around, you will be a stronger, happier, healthier woman when you reunite. If he doesn't come around, you will be a stronger, happier, healthier woman who is ready for whatever is ahead of you!
I will be in prayer with you as you persevere. God just wants us to trust Him. God bless you and keep me posted with your progress.
God Bless,
Wynter
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Ask Wynter: Letting My Guard Down
Dear Wynter,
I’ve found myself in many relationships where I’ve been taken advantage of, lied to, etc. by the people I was the closest to- parents, my boyfriend, and most recently my best friend of 17 years. I never felt like this really affected other relationships in my life; but recently I realized that I haven’t gotten close to anyone for awhile now, and when I look at the big picture I know it’s because I’m afraid of letting people in out of fear of getting hurt. Sometimes I feel that it would be a lot easier to just keep to myself, but at the same time I don't want to miss out on any valuable relationships God may be trying to place in my life. I want to be open to new relationships, but it is becoming increasingly hard to let my guard down. What advice do you have for letting go of past hurts and being more trusting?
Ashley
Fort Lauderdale, FL
Dear Ashley,
It is very hard to deal with betrayal by the people closest to you. Many disappointments come on different levels throughout our lives, but nothing hurts worse than when it comes from the people that we love, and those that are supposed to love us in return.
The first thing you need to do is ask yourself: Have I forgiven this person who has hurt me? I mean, have you really allowed God to heal your pain? Before you can heal, you have got to forgive. Now, forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean total relationship restoration. However, it does mean being able to love in spite of your pain, and be genuinely kind to your offender. If you have not forgiven, ask the Lord to allow you to fully forgive. You will know when you have forgiven because you will not feel weighed down by guilt and the joy of the Lord will be felt as an internal peace.
Secondly, you must ask God to heal you. He's your Father so you can be honest when you tell Him how you feel. Ask Him to take away your hurt and pain. He won’t necessarily take away the memory, but He can take away the pain from the memory. Ask Him to adjust your perspective so that you may understand why it had to happen.
While it’s hard to endure the hurt from loved ones, I’ve found that God uses the people closest to us for testing and pruning (Psalm 66:10). We have got to remember that it is our job to love and pray for those who despitefully use us, trusting in God to provide for our needs.
Although you have been hurt, it is not wise to live in fear because whether you realize it or not, refusing to allow anyone to get close to you is the manifestation of fear. The bible tells us that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind (2 Tim 1:7). You are right; operating in fear of being hurt could cause you to miss out on some great relationships that God is trying to bring into your life. You must begin to believe that every relationship; good or bad is divinely ordained and will all work together for you good. The bible tells us that the man who trusts in the Lord does not fear evil tidings but confidently trusts in the Lord for protection (Psalm 112:7).
Ashley, I pray and hope that you will allow God to heal your pain. I also pray that you will move beyond fear and begin to truly trust and depend on the Lord for guidance and protection in your life. I can testify that although you will experience pain in this life, He will never fail you nor forsake you (Joshua 1:5).
God Bless you,
Wynter
I’ve found myself in many relationships where I’ve been taken advantage of, lied to, etc. by the people I was the closest to- parents, my boyfriend, and most recently my best friend of 17 years. I never felt like this really affected other relationships in my life; but recently I realized that I haven’t gotten close to anyone for awhile now, and when I look at the big picture I know it’s because I’m afraid of letting people in out of fear of getting hurt. Sometimes I feel that it would be a lot easier to just keep to myself, but at the same time I don't want to miss out on any valuable relationships God may be trying to place in my life. I want to be open to new relationships, but it is becoming increasingly hard to let my guard down. What advice do you have for letting go of past hurts and being more trusting?
Ashley
Fort Lauderdale, FL
Dear Ashley,
It is very hard to deal with betrayal by the people closest to you. Many disappointments come on different levels throughout our lives, but nothing hurts worse than when it comes from the people that we love, and those that are supposed to love us in return.
The first thing you need to do is ask yourself: Have I forgiven this person who has hurt me? I mean, have you really allowed God to heal your pain? Before you can heal, you have got to forgive. Now, forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean total relationship restoration. However, it does mean being able to love in spite of your pain, and be genuinely kind to your offender. If you have not forgiven, ask the Lord to allow you to fully forgive. You will know when you have forgiven because you will not feel weighed down by guilt and the joy of the Lord will be felt as an internal peace.
Secondly, you must ask God to heal you. He's your Father so you can be honest when you tell Him how you feel. Ask Him to take away your hurt and pain. He won’t necessarily take away the memory, but He can take away the pain from the memory. Ask Him to adjust your perspective so that you may understand why it had to happen.
While it’s hard to endure the hurt from loved ones, I’ve found that God uses the people closest to us for testing and pruning (Psalm 66:10). We have got to remember that it is our job to love and pray for those who despitefully use us, trusting in God to provide for our needs.
Although you have been hurt, it is not wise to live in fear because whether you realize it or not, refusing to allow anyone to get close to you is the manifestation of fear. The bible tells us that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind (2 Tim 1:7). You are right; operating in fear of being hurt could cause you to miss out on some great relationships that God is trying to bring into your life. You must begin to believe that every relationship; good or bad is divinely ordained and will all work together for you good. The bible tells us that the man who trusts in the Lord does not fear evil tidings but confidently trusts in the Lord for protection (Psalm 112:7).
Ashley, I pray and hope that you will allow God to heal your pain. I also pray that you will move beyond fear and begin to truly trust and depend on the Lord for guidance and protection in your life. I can testify that although you will experience pain in this life, He will never fail you nor forsake you (Joshua 1:5).
God Bless you,
Wynter
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Ask Wynter: I Feel Like Something is Missing
Dear Melissa,
I am so glad that you decided to write. You are at a familiar place for most people in the world. Most people would agree that at some point, if not at this very moment, they have found themselves in a place of wanting to understand their purpose. That is probably the reason why you feel what I call “spiritual unrest”, like something is missing. I remember feeling exactly what you are describing so I can truly relate. This is actually a great place to be because it opens the door to so many new things and experiences that will eventually shape your existence.
In the quest to understand your purpose there are several things you should do. First, spend time in fasting and prayer. Pray with fasting gives you clarity like nothing else. Make the focus of your prayers during that time period on understanding your purpose. Write down everything that the Lord shares with you and any signs, conversations, revelations that you discover during this time period.
Secondly, take a personal inventory. This is key in uncovering your purpose. Write down any problem that burdens your heart in the world, what group of people does your heart bleed for, what gift or talents do you have, what have you overcome? By journaling about these things you can get closer to understanding your purpose. You can find a more detailed account of this practice and others who have been where you are by reading “I Am a Pearl”, chapters 4 and 5 deal with understanding your purpose.
As with anything that is of great importance, you must take these tasks very seriously and continually pray for guidance. Once you believe you have discovered your purpose, get a mentor and get busy! You have work to do!
Continue to seek God for answers and trust that He will not fail you. He desires to see you fulfill His purpose so He will help you on your path to discovery. I am praying for you and I hope to receive a praise report from you soon. God loves you and He desires to use you in a major way!
God Bless You,
Wynter
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Ask Wynter: Finding My Purpose
My family and friends say that I am a people person and that whatever I do; I should be in customer service. I manage a rental car company in Houston and so I'm dealing with customers all the time and although I do have a relationship with most of them, it's not something I'm just dying to keep doing!! How do I get direction in life, I feel so lost and about ready to give up on trying to do more. Again, I do pray and my prayers are not being answered.
Sheba, Houston, TX
Dear Sheba,
You are not alone; I too have struggled with understanding my purpose in the past. In fact, I believe that nearly every Christian at some point will question exactly what they were put on earth to do; especially when we understand that everything that God creates has purpose.
Don’t give up! Believe it or not you’re at a great place. The uneasiness in your spirit about your current situation is indicative that there is something greater for you.
Your purpose is tied to your passion. My advice to you is to continue to pray; in addition you might want to begin to start journaling a couple of times a week. Begin to search your heart about the things that burden your heart. What problem in the world would you love to solve? What groups of people are you most concerned about (i.e. seniors, children, women)? What do you love to do? What are your talents, skills, etc? In addition to your prayers, begin to ask yourself those questions and write your answers down. Use this as an opportunity to make some observations about yourself. Do this for a couple of weeks and revisit it. The answer usually lies somewhere in the information that you will be collecting about yourself.
We know that true faith requires some action (James 2:20); therefore do not take this task lightly. I believe God will begin to reveal to you exactly what you have been ordained to do. I commit to praying with you that your revelation comes sooner than later. Once you receive your revelation begin to pray for opportunities to put your purpose in action. Believe me, opportunities will come.
May God bless you on your journey and please keep me informed on your progress.
Sincerely,
Wynter L. Patterson
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