Ask Wynter: Too Hard to Let Go!

Hello Wynter,

I've been praying to God about a situation with my daughter's father, my heart really loves him and cares for him and I really wanna be with him and want us to get married and do things the right way in the Will Of God and I've been going through with so much guilt, pain, guilt, sorrow for a year and 5 months now. So I finally prayed to God to release this from me I want to let him go cause he holding me down and everyday im in my feelings about him and if he dont call or text me I'm sad and feeling down and depressed....I don't pray constantly like I should but I pray every night and at sometimes throughout the day that is an area I am weak in cause my mind is so focus and looking for God to do this for me and that for me. But on the inside I still really wanna be with him and I really deeply Love him.

By the looks of the situation with me and him seems like its not going to happen and ive been crying and hurting and chasing after him trying to mend what was broken and fix whatever the problem was but he doesn't show me any attention or want to talk to me about that, only about his daughter. I wanna keep on believeing in this situation will change and turn around and what I prayed for will happen if I keep holding On and pressing on and then I don't know if I should just really let go of it all, give up, and move on and if that's what I need to do I don't know how and its hindering me day by day.
> WHAT SHOULD I DO PLEASE HELP ME???

Marie
Houston, TX

Marie,

I appreciate the fact that you had the courage to reach out. I know what it's like to want something so badly that it clouds your focus and your judgment. I have been there.

It is natural to want something to work and to want your child's father to be a part of both of your lives, especially if you have history and you have experienced some good times together.  What you feel is quite normal. The problem comes when a person's actions begin to control your emotions. This is emotionally and spiritually dangerous. Remember the bible says "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God" (Phil. 4:6).  You have to begin to take your requests to God regarding your desire for the relationship.

Secondly, you have to take your hands off! If it is God's desire to bring you two together, He doesn't need your help. That is a lesson I have had to learn over and over again. You need to pray for what you desire and leave it alone in most cases. Stop concentrating on how to win his affection, or what you need to do or say to facilitate your interactions. God wants to know that we trust Him for our future.

So here's what you can do. Start out by taking time, by yourself to pray and/or cry out to God. Let it all out. Tell God your desires and ask Him for the help to let go. Every time you start to get anxious, or feel sad about something your ex did or did not do...say  out loud "Lord I trust you". When he sends you a text, good or bad...say out loud "Lord I trust you". This will help your mind get used to the idea of trusting your Heavenly Father.  You will also need to increase your prayer life during this difficult time. Nothing will help you get through the "quiet times" like prayer. The quiet times are when you are waiting for God to reveal his plan for you life.

While you are working on increasing your prayer life, reading your bible and trusting God, make sure you also spend time with some of your good friends. Do some things that you like to do. And while your hanging out, make sure he is not the focal point of the conversation. That usually generates negative thoughts or it forces you to keep your mind on the problem and not on God. You may find yourself really enjoying the "me time".  This doesn't mean that you won't still feel sad at times or wonder what He's doing, but it does mean that you won't be so preoccupied with him that you lose yourself in the process.

Learning to let go and let God is not an overnight process. It will require a daily effort on your part but it will be worth it. If your child's father does come around, you will be a stronger, happier, healthier woman when you reunite. If he doesn't come around, you will be a stronger, happier, healthier woman who is ready for whatever is ahead of you!

I will be in prayer with you as you persevere. God just wants us to trust Him. God bless you and keep me posted with your progress.

God Bless,
Wynter

Ask Wynter: Finding My Purpose

Hello Wynter, I saw you this morning on Debra Duncan's show...and by the way, Congrats on engagement! My question to you is, how do you find your true calling in life? I have been on the same job for 20 years and I am not happy at all. Financially I am no better off than 10 years ago. I have strong feeling that I am suppose to be doing something else, I've prayed and prayed and prayed and I get no answers.

 My family and friends say that I am a people person and that whatever I do; I should be in customer service. I manage a rental car company in Houston and so I'm dealing with customers all the time and although I do have a relationship with most of them, it's not something I'm just dying to keep doing!! How do I get direction in life, I feel so lost and about ready to give up on trying to do more. Again, I do pray and my prayers are not being answered.

Sheba, Houston, TX

Dear Sheba,

You are not alone; I too have struggled with understanding my purpose in the past. In fact, I believe that nearly every Christian at some point will question exactly what they were put on earth to do; especially when we understand that everything that God creates has purpose.

Don’t give up! Believe it or not you’re at a great place. The uneasiness in your spirit about your current situation is indicative that there is something greater for you.

Your purpose is tied to your passion. My advice to you is to continue to pray; in addition you might want to begin to start journaling a couple of times a week. Begin to search your heart about the things that burden your heart. What problem in the world would you love to solve? What groups of people are you most concerned about (i.e. seniors, children, women)? What do you love to do? What are your talents, skills, etc? In addition to your prayers, begin to ask yourself those questions and write your answers down. Use this as an opportunity to make some observations about yourself. Do this for a couple of weeks and revisit it. The answer usually lies somewhere in the information that you will be collecting about yourself.

We know that true faith requires some action (James 2:20); therefore do not take this task lightly. I believe God will begin to reveal to you exactly what you have been ordained to do. I commit to praying with you that your revelation comes sooner than later. Once you receive your revelation begin to pray for opportunities to put your purpose in action. Believe me, opportunities will come. 

May God bless you on your journey and please keep me informed on your progress.

Sincerely,

Wynter  L. Patterson

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